FuCKiNG aNGRY
I’m pissed off at myself and at a friend. I told her something I didn’t want to really tell her but I got pissed off and it came out.
She wanted to go to a certain laneway club in the city that has lot of medical equipment in it. I promised a friend I would never step into the place after an incident involving a barman there and his habit of spiking women’s drinks. Even if that evil fucker isn’t working there I made a promise I would never step foot into that place and I wont. My friend wanted to go there for drinks on her birthday and I said I wouldn’t go there. She made jokey comments, I snapped and blurted out the full truth about what happened. She shut up real quick.
Now I’m angry because I let out some shit I didn’t want to let someone else know, but I got pissed off and it came out. I feel weird, I’m angry, sad, muddled in the head. I’m angry at myself and at her. I don’t want to be felling this way, but I hate it when people can’t tell when I’m serious and when I’m mucking around. I hate the fact that every time I hear the name of that place I get angry and have to explain why I wont go there.
The friend who had her drink spiked wont tell me the guys name because she knows what I’d do to him if I ever found him. I was bashed in the face during a robbery at an old job and I feel less anger at the junkies who punched me in the face than this evil drink spiking barman.
I hate feeling like this, hate is a wasted emotion unless you can expel the energy in some way, its gunna be hard to get to sleep tonight.

FiLM FuN
I had a shit day at work, so I came home cooked dinner and watched one of my favourite films “Human Traffic”. I love that film. That film is so cool, I love the way the characters interact with each other, its so real and so funny, the music is great too. I don’t do illegal drugs but I like the legal drug, alcohol. I get all the drug references from having lived with people who have partaken of substances. I've been to enough raves and had a great time while pissed out of my head and hyper from to much sugar and warheads. The sugar just gives me energy to start dancing, once I’m on the dancefloor I’m there for ages. It’s a great film to watch before you go out, cos it makes you wanna go out.
Here’s a little rhyme a guy does in the film for his girlfriend that I love cos its so pervy:
“Girl, I’m gunna tie you up, wear the mask, with your strap on cock, fuck me up the ass, your sexual powers leave me drained for hours, but I gotta draw the line at golden showers!”

WeaRiNG WoMeNS CloTHiNG
I’m not talking about trannies, I’m talking about guys who like to occasionally wear a dress. I think that if a guys gunna wear women's clothing you gotta be fashionable, non of that buy a grannie dress from the opshop and wear that. I've seen some dudes wearing dresses that I think they think they look good in but look shocking. A guy wearing a dress does not automatically look cool just because he’s in a dress. You gotta have style. I reckon that 99% of guys look shit in anything shorter than a kilt. Kilts are good for mid length (but they’re unisex clothes). Guys look better when they wear a long dress/skirt, nothing floral, being from Melbourne I of course think that black is best, but that’s just me. If I could find the right skirt id wear it, but id prefer a kilt cos I found a sporran in an opshop.

FeTiSH SceNe BoRe-DoM
I used to go to fetish clubs a lot, occasionally with friends sometimes alone, but I haven’t been for ages. why? Cos sometimes they get really boring and the people shit me up the wall. A woman I knew from one of these clubs once what I did for easter/nye/xmas. When I said id spent it with my family she gave me a look and a comment like “oh how boring” maybe for you, you boring fetish head. You’re the one who leaves the clubs at 2-3am like a lot of elder fetishists, while I’m just getting into the swing of it. I've been around for years and all you seem to do is chat and on the rare occasion you may actually tie someone up and do what you do. You wear clothes that cost way too much, but you never seem to do anything while wearing them. You also seem to not be able to understand concept outside the dom sub world. Why cant a gimp beat his master? Why cant I be what I want when I want. No I have to be one or the other. Fuck you and your binary world. I know, most of the action goes on in private, but seriously to call me boring because I have a life outside your little latex and leather world, is pretty fucking rude and you can go and get fucked.

FaSHioN MiSTaKeS
Sometimes I think back to what I wore in the past and I’m shocked that I thought it was cool to wear even back when I wore it.
I remember wearing some shocking stuff in the elate 80s & early 90s. I can also remember drunkenly dancing around the dancefloor at “alternative” clubs with a whistle tooting it to whatever dancey track they were playing, stuff like “Total Confusion” by a homeboy, hippi and a funki-dred or anything by the KLF.
It would be hilarious if paranoid fantasy’s were true and a persons whole life was being recorded somewhere. You wouldn’t need to torture people physically, just show them old film of what they were wearing and they’d be so embarrassed they’d confess to anything just to get you to stop showing them that stuff.
The teens now in 20 years will probably be embarrassed by the arse half hanging out jeans look (even with tight pants). It’s a fun game when bored, drunk or both to see what people are wearing and try to imagine the embarrassment level if you showed them what they are wearing now in 10-20 years.

ViRGiN
Sometimes I think back to dumb stuff done when young. One of the stupid things guys do is make up any sort of bullshit stories to try and prove they’re not a virgin. No one wants to admit it. I went to an all boys skool and virginity denial is a big thing. I heard so many stories from so many guys, but the 2 guys I knew who lost it were pretty quiet about it. Its funny, people go from denial to quiet. The guys who had really lost it go quiet. Its like the those who do don’t have to say, but those who don’t say louder than needed. I remember once claiming I did it with a local girl I had the hots for who worked at the local milkbar, I thought my plan was great cos shed just moved away but one guy knew her before she moved so they knew she was real but had no way of proving me wrong. Fuck, I was an idiot back then.

GaY JeSuS
I’ve noticed something recently in the media, everything is either Jesus-like or Gay. People are saying that superman is gay others say he’s jesus like. Is this a sign, the similarity between gayness and jesus, why don’t they just come out and say it. Jesus was gay.

GaY CoMiCS
Occasionally I've seen articles about gay characters in mainstream comics. It looks like they do a bit of research online & check a few articles and that’s about it. I’m straight and I know some that they forgot
Here’s some:
Batgirl was recently revealed to be gay, of course it was picked up by various media outlets
There was a character ages ago called Tasmanian Devil, a big hairy dude with a T on his chest. I think he lived with his boyfriend in Sydney (of course). I saw him many years ago, it was funny because the at the time the antisodomy laws were still in place in Tasmania.
Joe Pineapples was a robot in 2000ad’s ABC Warriors (atomic,biological,chemical) who went through a trannie stage dressing in women’s clothes for a while, looking fabulous of course.
Hanna from 2000ad’s Cabbalistics. Inc. was a lesbian working for department Q. fighting occult stuff. (she looked a bit like velma from scooby doo)

SaMe SeX MaRRiaGe
I don’t think I’ll ever get married and I’m definitely not having kids but I think same sex marriage is okay and it should be made legal. Politicians are too scared to support it because they’re scared of losing all the various religious fuckwits votes. Little Johnny has his tongue firmly planted up GWB’s arse and is like the little kid who hangs around the bully, if you met him alone he’d shit his pants. Maybe I should get a civil celebrant license, then I can marry whoever the fuck wants to, wherever they want. I’ve been ordained online so why not marry people who aren’t yet legal cos I’m not legal (yet).
I support gay marriage, partnership rights, same sex partners with kids and all that stuff, just because im not doing it doesn’t men I think no one else should and if you don’t like that you can go fuck yourself.

PeaCHes
I’m hanging out for the new Peaches album. I've heard some of it and she still has a filthy mouth and a dirty mind. I met her once a couple of years ago, sort of, while backstage with Team Plastique at a gig. I was starstruck, I didn’t know what to say. So I sat in the corner trying to be cool but probably looking creepy. I’ll do a review when I get a copy

NuTTeRS TeRRoRiST HuNTeRS
A pissed guy went the pornshop at work. He thought it was a late night internet café. He was looking for terrorists. He thought that internet cafes were training grounds for terrorists
The nutter probably saw they were full of overseas students playing games, and put 2 and 2 together and got 7. Drunk nutters, they’re scarey (spew, violence, etc) but also funny.

Arnotts have put out s new biscuit… its called the CLITORIS CREAM… one lick and you’ll wanna eat the whole box J

MoRe PRoVeRBS FRoM aRouND THe WoRLD
“The person who plants corn should like to eat corn”
Mexican
duh! That is possibly the dumbest proverb so far
“The thief is the king over the wealth of others”
Hindi
Sounds more realistic if was said “the king is the thief of the wealth of others”
“To be better, one must first be worse”
Icelandic
“The tormentor forgets that there is tomorrow”
Yoruban
“The poor man meets many devils”
Chinese
“The tongue can raise you, and it can behead you”
Hindi
“He who learns to steal must also learn to run”
Tanganyikan
“There are no fans in hell”
Egyptian
“The one who washes off dirt, washes off luck”
Mongolian
dirty buggers
“There is no darkness like ignorance”
Egyptian
“All wise men think the same; every fool has his own opinion”
Punjabi
“The feet go to that place where the heart goes”
Pashto/Afghanistani
“Whatever is good to know is difficult to learn”
Greek
“The world is an ocean – learn to swim”
Yoruban
“Water drinkers do not write songs”
Greek

HiGHLY ReCoMMeNDeD
ZiNe:
BP issue 29 (Betty Paginated), full of porn, wrestling and a trip to the USA, its fuckin great. More info when I finish the whole thing.
Get it where all good zines are sold or go to www.bettypaginated.blogspot.com
BooK:
“A Mind of Its Own, a cultural history of the penis” by David M Friedman
its got everything, the biblical penis, the fruedian penis, the feminist penis, the vigra penis. It’s a big book and I loved it.

LEGION says “it matters not who you fuck, just that you fuck”