HaVe You eVeR HaD oNe oF THoSe NiGHTS when you just cant be FUCKED.
I went out Sunday night and spent most of the night sitting down or wandering around, I didn’t dance once, they played stuff I liked but I just couldn’t be fucked. The vodka I was drinking wasn’t having the effect it usually does, which is making me hyper and desperate for a boogie, it just made me more lethargic. I chatted with some people but couldn’t be fucked really. It sucked too cos it was the last night out with a friend who was leaving to go to europe to meet up with his girlfriend. I felt bad for not having lots of fun on his last night out and when I was saying bye I started to feel like I was gunna start crying. Fuck I must’ve been drunk. When I got in the taxi to go home I was holding back the emotion and when I finally got home I had a weird little 5 second burst of crying then fell asleep fully clothed on my bed. Eventually I got up to piss and got undressed and went back to bed and slept until 2pm.
The night before the guy going bye-bye dragged us all out to a gay club called “the market”. He’s straight but used to work in a gay bar so likes the music and being able to take off his shirt and flaunt it like a peacock. When we lost him during the night we spotted him on the podium with his shirt off, he was probably the only guy with his shirt off who had any sort of chest hair but its a snail trail compared to mine. Thankfully for the people at the club I kept my shirt on for fear of people running screaming tearing out their eyes, its bad for my reputation. the music was crap and I wasn't drunk enough not to give a fuck so I ended up just standing around trying to look cute. But proof of my inability to pick up was that even in a gay club no one was interested. What the fuck? Then one of the girls I went there with ended up making out with a gay guy. And how did she get the 1st snog, by bitching that guys cant snog, so the gay guy had to defend men by showing her that it wasn’t true. When she told me how it happened I looked at her and shook my head. I AM A GUY!!!! You’ve snogged me! Thanks so very fucking much!
Either I’m a shit snogger or she emasculated me by counting me as one of the girls (yet again). Id prefer the emasculation rather than being a crap snog but maybe I am crap. I’m never gunna know cos I cant snog myself. It gets one my nerves when the girls forget I’m a guy and start talking about shit I don’t wanna know like cock size or bitching about guys being crap at something.
I’m sometimes jealous of them, they seem so confident. For example some of my female friends seem to constantly snog and fool around with the most unlikely of people, workmates, random strangers and various others. I wish I had the balls, or in their case ovaries, to do what they do. They snog and fool around with girls and boys equally. I’m not into guys, I’m happily hetro but their ability with both sexes is awe inspiring to a perv like me. The lucky fuckers!

The medication I’m taking sux, its not working, my migraines are still regularly random. It sucks, they gave me some stuff that’s for heart problems. Its supposed to lower my blood pressure. When I've got okay blood pressure isn’t that dangerous? I've also heard that heart medication effects the libido and the physical side of that. Id rather have a headache than not be able to fuck. In don’t want the only chance I've got for a fuck in ages to be ruined by some medicine that’s not doing what they’re giving it to me for and taking away what I think is an essential part of me.

The commonwealth games I here and its gunna suck balls big time, I use public transport to get to work and its gunna be fuller than usual of annoying sporty people and tourists. I don’t mind the tourists it’s the aussies who make out that the games means anything that annoy me, the games to me mean fuck all, a reminder that we are part of a dead empire founded by a bunch of inbred upper class twats back in the UK, who at onme stage thought of us a lower than them because we were just a colony. Fuck the grand parasites, the queen and that half crazy racist prick prince phillip and fuck john brown tongue howard and all his toadying cronies, fuck steve bracks and his sleazy back room deals and not so secret private life (in the sex industry we have contacts everywhere).

One of my friends says I should write about my food habits in more detail in my blog, but that not gunna happen. I don’t care about what you know about my sex life and whatever else is happening in my life but my food habits would freak people out, and probably make them wonder how the fuck im still alive. I may reveal it some day but not quite yet.

some things from my zines that I wanna include here:

imperfection is beauty.
I hate perfection, its boring, we are surrounded by images of so called perfect people, and it bores me. I like people who are NQR (not quite right.) it gives a person character and makes them someone to remember. I am attracted to whoever I’m attracted to and no one will dictate to me who I can desire. A lot of the time the beautiful people are the worst fucks, because they expect you to do all the work cos it’s a privilege to fuck ‘em. The person who is not perfect is more real and will fuck your brains out. And maybe their imperfections will bring a whole new dimension, you never thought of, to your sex life. like the guy in the wheelchair who can go for hours cos he cant feel below the waist. The person with the big nose adding that bit extra to cunnilingus and the amazing hands of a blind person. The list is endless, so go out there do what you want and fuck yourself silly, remember people who try to control your sex life have problems with their own. And the only bad sex is sex that is non consensual.
Feel No Guilt In Your Desires.

STuPiD SeX
I’m sick and tired of women I meet telling me how they don’t use condoms because their boyfriend “doesn’t like them”. Okay if your in a long term monogamous relationship and you’ve both been tested then its okay, but if you just assume that your partners okay because they’re not a drug user or overly promiscuous, that really fucking stupid. Diseases can sit in your body for years and never show up, and you’ll never get symptoms but a lot of the time all you need is one shitty weekend and getting rundown and BOOM, it pops up and you’ve now got a disease that’s fucked you up for life. or how would you feel if you passed on a disease from an old partner to a new one. Imagine the pain, not just physical, but mental. And with them passing it to other partners, just because you or your partner “didn’t like condoms” get real. I hear all sorts of shit like, “I cant keep it up with a condom”, well practice makes perfect, and who says sex is all about penetration, try other stuff. Don’t stop sex to put it on, make the putting on part of it. What’s sexier than a black condom slick with wetness glistening in the moonlight, or watching a glow in the dark condom getting closer in a pitch black room.
A even more fucked up idea, is a women who’s not on the pill not using condom, and relying on him pulling out or just luck. I have known people this stupid. What the fuck is wrong with you. Are you really that stupid or think you’ll just deal with the consequences when something happens. Have you ever sat with a friend in an abortion clinic and then after helped her home afterwards and helped them deal with the physical as well as psychological effects afterwards, have you ever had a friend cry on you shoulders all night when they find out they’ve got a sexual disease that’s going to make their sex life extremely complicated and sometimes painful for the rest of their life.
Think about it. Safe sex isn’t annoying, its life saving. Some people will argue that no sex is the answer, but for 99.9% of the population that’s not going to work.
Safe sex is sexy and fun, it makes sex fun because your not worried about what’s going to happen later and that makes it sexy too.