PoRNo SHoP STuFF:
It’s hilarious when people come into my work wearing their sunglasses. I work in a basement porno shop and it’s not exactly a highly illuminated place to work. Usually the get about half way, need to look at something and take them off. But there is the tool that spends the whole time in their sunnies, even when paying for the stuff they’re buying.
These sunglassed idiots are usually the same as the people who pretend your not there, which is an extremely rude thing to do especially when the counter is directly in front of them when they enter. I greet 99% of the people who come into the shop and only 50% say anything back, another 10% grunt, the rest ignore me. If you ignore me you get bad service if you need it, but if you just came in for a perv I love to say something to them as they leave like “see you later” which usually twinges their guilt reflex more than when they entered.
There is a weird sort of customer I often see, the person who looks at every video/dvd, they refuse help if offered claiming not to be looking for a specific film. These people are the most annoying if you need a piss and have to wait for them to get through every fucking film. There’s the fuckin' annoying looker who doesn’t buys anything. Then there’s the freaky person who looks through every vid/dvd every week. We get new stuff every week, they don’t just look at the new stuff, and they look at everything each week. 95% of the stock they looked at the week before, if they were looking for film they saw last week that’d be understandable but they come in every week. Do they have no short-term memory? Do they think we hide secret tapes in the old stock?
Another thing I've noticed with working in another porn shop occasionally is the people who seem to go through every shop, like they’re gunna miss something if they don’t check every shop on their way to the train station. These are the people who need to get a life.
The ways people amuse themselves is fascinating sometimes. While sitting at work, at least once a day someone will make a noise or yell something down the stairs. What purpose does it serve, are they trying to impress someone, are they retarded?
“Oooh look! A porno shop doorway, id better make a funny noise or yell perverts 'cos I'm to scared to enter so I better make fun of people who are more comfortable with their sexuality than me”
FUCKWITS!!!!!
A most annoying customer who usually does this when your busting for a piss, is the person who has bought something but they keeps on looking for another 10 minutes. Get the fuck out when you got what you want, I need a piss, you’re the last customer, ah shit here comes another customer, I got to wait another ½ hour for a piss again.
We have a sign in the shop that says “No Running Down The Stairs” but at least once a week an excited little porn head comes hurrying down the stairs. I feel like saying “I know your excited about getting some porn ‘cos you’re desperate for a wank but please read the fucking sign ‘cos we aint paying any medical bills if you trip or run into someone coming down the stairs”
The ignorance of people in regards to sign in the shop is spectacular. There is sign everywhere in the shop that has specials on them but they still don’t see them ‘cos they’re in porno mode, they semen levels in their brain reach their eyeballs and their focus is only on the pink bits they so desperately crave.

A funny thing about working in a porno shop is the amount of pink bits I see everyday, so when I pick up a hustler magazine I end up reading it for the articles, jokes and cartoons. When the new hustlers come in I end up saving one for a look after I’ve wrapped the rest. Then relax and have a giggle at the cartoons and jokes or get angry over the latest GWB fuckup/coverup or antiporn crap. I prefer the USA edition ‘cos the aussie one is a month or 2 behind with the same articles.

I would also like to thank Hustler for tracking down a cool guy I saw on the news.
Ben Marble is the man who told Dick Cheney to go fuck himself when Dick was in New Orleans. Ben, you’re an ordinary bloke who was caught up in a bad situation but then in the perfect situation to say what most of the USA (and the rest of the world) felt needed to be said, you are a fucking legend!

TaTTooS & INeQuaLiTY
Why do women get tattoos of women?
Why don’t men don’t get tattoos of men?
Is there some sort of gender inequality in tattoos?
(band pics don’t count ‘cos they’re the fugliest tatts)