A bit of truth from Chris Rock
“if a man is nice to you he is offering you his penis”

another word to learn
caligynephobia – fear of beautiful women

I hated weddings, the old ladies used to poke me saying “you’re next”. They stopped doing it when I began to do it to them at funerals

This describes me perfectly“I’m so cute, I shit kittens”

WHY WoRKiNG iN a PoRNo SHoP iS SoMeTiMeS oKaY
I got a text from a porno shop buddy, here it is: “Dude, 2 lesbians came in and showed me their labial piercing's, video footage of themselves eating each other out on their phones, stripped naked in the shop to try on clothes and spent $1200 on toys lingerie. All the while rubbing themselves and each other. Yowza”
When I worked in the same porno shop as him nothing like this ever happened to me, I got drunks, junkies and customers who thought I was gay. This sort of stuff always happened to the guys who have girlfriends or are gay.

aNoTHeR TeXT FRoM aNoTHeR FRieND“Just saw a girl climbing through a window over a shop at main intersection and as she did her pants came down and she just had a g-string. There was almost a car accident and all the pedestrians were just standing and staring”
A good reason to have a camera on you at all times.

MiSS BeHaViN & BuRLeSQue iDoL
I went to the performance at the comedy festival by a female sword swallower called “Hard To Swallow”. Was pretty cool, she even swallowed the leg of a chair. It’s a story about how she started doing it and how she ended up where she is now. Was funny, entertaining, and a little bit risqué. She is one of my new female heroes.
I tried to learn sword swallowing, after finding an old copy of “memoirs of a sword swallower”, but sort of lost interest when my brother showed me some other tricks, like sticking nails in my face and getting out of a straight jacket. But my gag reflex is still a bit numb. Maybe I’ll try again after her inspiration.
I went to the last “Burlesque Idol” comedy festival show, it was pretty cool with lots of shaking going on. Fucking funny too, it ended with a whipped cream and watermelon fight in a wading pool.

aNoTHeR FuCKiN M.R.I.
I just had another MRI, its to make sure the thing in my brain’s not getting bigger, have to go back on the 30th of this month, 3 weeks after the MRI to get the results, bloody public hospital system, but what would I expect for free health care. The doctor said last time it could be a virus I picked up while rundown with a hangover.
I don’t mind going to the hospital, the waiting shits me but the café downstairs has a cool juice bar, and I get a strawberry smoothie each time I go, even if its fuckin cold, its so simple but so yummy.

CoMiCS
I've been reading a few cool comics recently, as usual my weekly dose of 2000ad and I've also been getting into Exterminators, DMZ and American Virgin.
Exterminators is a story about mutation in cockroaches and the guys trying to deal with it, its also got stuff like junkies shooting up bug poison, a cheating wife and a mysterious box.
DMZ is about a young journalist who’s a war correspondent in the no mans land of new York’s Manhattan island during a new American civil war. Its pretty cool, bit of action bit of drama with a touch of humour.
American Virgin’s about a young guy who preaches abstinence until marriage who’s girlfriend is beheaded while doing charity work in Africa. He’s on a downward slope as he goes there to find out who did it. Not sure where its going but its an okay read.

WheN eViL ReiGNS
I went to see a film made by a friend that I acted in. It’s called “When Evil Reigns”. Its about rain making people evil psychopaths. Im a guy who attacks a character in the film but I get my head busted in with a golf club. The pic of me with my head all fucked up is pretty cool.

link to film site

FriDaY NiGHT & HaNGoVeRS
I went out on the weekend, got pissed with 2 young ladies, went to 3 clubs, the 1st was the Pony, saw a friends band and heard some fucked up industrial techno and noise stuff. Left there and went to Icon, mostly empty, slappers dancing on the bar, bad music, was funny because I was drunk but wouldve been shit if sober.
Then went to Dream for goth night Cabaret Nocturne, was okay but a bit empty, but we did get there around 3.30am, boogied for a while to okay music, had a couple of drinks and went home around 6am.
I slept off my hangover the next day, didn’t get out of bed except to go to the loo and drink some water. Actually got up around 4pm.

SuNDaY iN a PoRNo SHoP
Worked the next day in the porno shop (Sunday), was pretty boring and cold.
There was a guy who while talking to me adjusted himself downstairs. I felt like telling him off, I don’t people touching their dick when im talking to them, its very impolite. But he seemed like the sort of tool who probably doesn’t realize he does it.
Sometimes working in retail sucks, dealing with all manner of fuckwits.