MUSEUM
Went to the new melb. museum with a friend who will be know as MissJ on Wednesday. It was okay, I didn’t get to see all of it, but it was fun. Had the most fun in the interactive stuff. I’ll never grow up, but from the way other patrons acted I think they all regressed to childhood, especially the digestive system part, everyone loves looking at the fake poo and pressing the button next to it that makes a fart noise. A young woman behind us giggled after pressing it. I like a girl who giggles at fart noises in public.
The bug section was pretty cool, I love the dome inside the ant section. If you put your head in it you almost feel like your buried up to your neck in sand. There’s also a thing you can push down and it puffs out a smell. It’s the smell of bug poo. It was weird cos it smells like the country. So when you leave the city you are actually enjoying the smell of grass and bug poo.
The indoor forest was cool, it was strange cos when I was outside in the city heat I hated it but when I was in the forest heat it felt natural. It was a fun day
There was some areas with naked people in them too, they had the old statues from ages ago there, pretty cool, an area explaining the reproductive system with a few life-size pics of naked people on the wall and they had a big wall display of a bunch of naked people of lots of shapes and sizes. I wondered what it would be like to be one of the models for the pics. It’d be cool to go on a date to the museum with someone you hadn’t been intimate with yet and let them see you naked before they see it for real. It’d be even funnier if it was 5-20 years later.
CUSTOMERS
Working in a porno shop, or any sort of retail you notice different kinds of customer. The one that give me the shits often is the person who goes through every fucking video/magazine/dvd in the shop. They always come into the shop when you have something to do but then have to keep one eye on them for the hour they’re in the shop. Some go through everything and leave empty handed, if you ask them if they need help they freak out cos they are getting talked to in a porno shop, “oh my god does it mean he wants to fuck me” or “hell find out my secret fetish.” Here's the news fucker, I don’t care what your into. I work in a fuckin porno shop, unless your into skull fucking gibbons, rape or touching kids, I don’t really give a fuck. And I wouldn’t fuck you, I’m straight. If your fetish is that obscure that you gotta go through everything in the shop, maybe I can cut down your looking time with some advice from someone who’d know if we had it in the shop, and if your just killing time you can get the fuck out you annoying turd.
But I think a big problem is when you work in a porn shop you get dulled by if you actually by some freaky urge you actually want to watch some porn you can pick what you want in 30sec and when someone else takes their time you lose patience because your brain thinks “if I can do it in 30sec why is it taking him so fucking long?”
GAYDAR
A weird side effect of working in a porno shop is gaydar. Contrary to popular belief hetro guys can get it to if they work in certain environments. When I was living in ireland I knew a housemate was a lesbian pretty much from the 1st day I saw her, same with the spanish guy who eventually moved in with friends of mine. Months later people asked about both “Did you know?” “Yes, but if they haven’t told you, I’m not gunna tell you, that’s their choice”. 90% of the time I can tell someone’s preference when they come in the shop, occasionally I’m surprised, but most of time I’m right. Its funny cos most of my straight friends have no idea, even some of the gay ones. the one that people have no idea about is the tranni lovers. So many guys buy tranni porn, it’d shock people with how many and who buys it. If you’re a girl and you find out your man likes tranni stuff, buy a strap on, and make the bitch suck it then turn him over and give him what he’s always wanted.
PRIDE
I went to the melb pride march with MissJ, we go every year we can. It’s a fun day and we get lots of free condoms and free stuff. The dykes on bikes as usual are fucking cool, the sound of a bunch of big bikes that close gives you chills, its great. But when the gay cops and federal cops walk past I don’t clap or wave or any of that crap, as an anarchist I would feel a bit stupid to cheer for someone who’d beat me up or lock me away just as much as their straight workmates.
I am not a breeder, I’m hetro but the idea of breeding freaks me, too much responsibility. If I could afford a vasectomy, id get it. But when I go to pride I love to see the gay couples with kids, I don’t know why but it makes me smile. Its strange.
It was a fun day, hung out with missJ, her mum, met up with missJ’s ex-girlfriend, I had a yummy gelati and got a pocket full of free stuff. It was a fun day.