VaLeNTiNeS DaY
Valentines day is to stalkers what Halloween is to pedophiles

After a guy on the net suggested that because valentines day is mainly for chicks that there should be a day for guys, he declared march 14th as steak and blowjob day, I think it’s a bit lame that if only have one day a year for something you must have a pretty boring sex life, so I made a list of other potential days for lame people who need an excuse to do something.
blood play & booze day
cunnilingus & cake day
soy & sodomy day
watermelon & water sports day
bagels & bondage day
eggs & enemas day
fish & fisting day
turkey & tickling day
fish fingers & foot fetish day
croissant & cross-dressing day
sausages and scat day
fast food & felching day

BRoKeBaCK MouNTaiN
Why I'm not going to see Brokeback Mountain. I’m not homophobic. It’s a love story, what would be classified a chick flick. I would never go to the cinema to see a love story with a girl and guy, so why should I if it’s about 2 guys. I might watch it if it’s on TV, but mainly just to see what all the hype was about.

2nd HaND oR ViNTaGe?
Was looking at wanky write up for an apartment in city and a part of one line caught my eye. It was “shopping for vintage clothes at boutique stores”. What the fuck? If you can afford to live in an inner city high rise you don’t buy 2nd hand clothes, they’re vintage. Well I buy a lot of my clothes at special boutiques and they’re antique but mine cost way less. I go to opshops and buy 2nd hand clothes. What’s the difference, mine aren’t over $100. I find designer or expensive if new stuff, I've bought black Calvin Klein jeans, lots of doc martin shoes, Ben Sherman shirts and even a pair of Prada shoes for $3, what a score!
If you’re stupid enough to buy 2nd hand clothes for way too much money you are a fool and you and the shit clothes deserve each other, if you got that sort of money you’ll probably just throw them out anyway when they aren’t in fashion anymore. What is vintage anyway, is there a secret stash somewhere that clothes designers hide clothes away until they’re back in fashion again, then they can say, never been worn, vintage? What a big load of WANK

TouGH GuYS
One of the funny things about my job is people watching. I love seeing the tough guys who come in and are so obviously uncomfortable. It’s hilarious. If they’re in group it’s usually the quietest one who looks like he wants to leave, but there’s always the loud one, and he embarrasses the silent one cos he’s too loud. If they come in alone its all bravado and swagger, but by the time they leave they’re a changed man. He’ll look at the gay stuff if no on else is in the shop, he wont take off his sunnies, and just has an overall look of confusion, disgust and fake toughness. I fell sorry for these guys, but not much. Its similar to the guy who comes in with his girlfriend, usually he has to convince her to come in, but once inside he feels uncomfortable cos all the dicks are bigger than his. She’s loving it by the time they leave and he just wants to get out.

HoMoPHoBia
I was impressed by an article in the Feb.2006 edition of AlternativePress by the bassist Tripp from the band The Unseen. It was about the homophobia in punk and the common use of fag and gay used as a term of abuse, usually toward Emo lately. Fucking good article, read it if you get the chance.

LaTiN
“Homo sum homini nihil a me alienum puto”
translation: “I am a man, I consider nothing foreign to me”
meaning: all things are worthy of study