PRoVeRB MaDNeSS:
“He who seeks harm finds it”
Turkish
for emo kids

“If you want to keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow”
Liberian
for the vegans

“A roaring lion kills no game”
Ugandan
for those trying to pick up

“Hope to recoup is what ruins the gambler”
irish
…but it’s the casinos profit

“Gossiping and lying are brother and sister”
Kenyan
who’s the mum and dad?

“Adam’s rib is more bitter than sweet”
French

“A vineyard does not require prayers, but a hoe”
Greek

“Good luck invites many mishaps”
Japanese

“He who forgets the aim of his journey is still on the road”
Tanganyikan

TaLeS FRoM ReTaiL HeLL
A suit wearing fucker after a quick browse in the porn shop asked to use the toilet. This happens quiet often, we never let them use it no matter how busting for a piss they say they are cos they’re most probably have a wank in there, or worse.
The suit wearing fucker was refused and suddenly got an attitude, saying stuff like “do you want me to spend money here?” and when refused again and told that there was a public toilet across the road he got worse, saying stuff like “you think you’re so fucking good working in a porno shop”. These 2 comments reveal the fuckers mind, he thinks that because he’s a suit wearing toss pot who earns heaps of money he is better than a lowly porno worker because in his mind we are the low end of retail assistants, and all retail assistants must bow before the almighty suit wearing fuck face with lots of money.
He was told to leave the shop, he ranted and swore some more then tried some other wanky comment about how porn guys are not as good as they think or similar, but was told by the calm retail guy “is that the best you can do? Get the fuck out” this infuriated him and he said “you cant say that to me” eventually after being told to leave a few times he got the message and left swearing as he went. This fucker was extremely lucky the attendant stayed calm, I know a few who would’ve jumped put from behind the counter and thrown the fucker head first down the stairs. Try explaining where you got your injuries from then, suit boy.
One of the great things about problem customers. they complain about something and then get told store policy prevent refunds as the huge sign behind the counter states, they ask to speak to the manager, and get told he will back our side because he’s the one who made up the store policy. Then they threaten to sue us and try and get all scarey and legal, when we just say “go ahead, sue us, if you are prepared to go to court to tell everyone that the “Help My Ass Is On Fire” DVD didn’t work in your shitty lap top, even though it worked in our store dvd player when you tried to return it. It usually shut them up and they leave. What little power retail workers have, we love to use on arseholes.

QuoTe FroM ChaRLie ChaPLiN aBouT SeX:
“If there’s grass on the wicket, lets play cricket!”

iNSPiRaTioN FoR CoMiC
I cant remember where I heard or read it but recently I heard that the in the Xmen comics its 2 main characters, Charles Xavier and magneto were inspired by Martin Luthor King jr. and Malcolm x.
2 people with same problem with 2 solutions, ones uses pacifist means, the other prefers a more militant response, but they both have a mutual respect for the other.

TaBLoiD vs PoRN
From working in a newsagent and a porn shop I noticed something. The amazing amount of women who buy shitty gossipy tabloid magazines like Women’s Weekly, TV Week, New Idea, NW, Who, etc. etc. I am constantly hearing women complain that porn is offensive to them, but ignore the shit women are reading. when someone tells me porn is offensive to women because of unrealistic images of women, ill tell them I find the tabloid shit I see women buying offends me because there is no way I could look like Brad Pitt, cook like the Naked Chef, afford or even want to wear the latest clothes like any other celebrity. At least porn mags has minimal text, most of the tabloid shit is full of inane crap that bores me shitless. Recently I saw a photo of a celebrity walking out of a restaurant and the caption said something about pregnancy rumours because she was holding her stomach. For fuck sake, she was walking out of a restaurant, she was probably full and wanted to burp or take a shit. Anorexic freak Nicole Richie is in most mags as both as someone who needs help because shes so skinny, but then later on is looked upon as a style icon because of her good taste in clothes and makeup. She is so disgustingly skinny it makes me wonder about the guys shes hanging out with’s state of mind. Are they in it for the fame or are they really into anorexia, maybe its just the lack of a gag reflex in the bulemic?
Men have magazines that are just naked celebrities, the tabloids have the same shit but its in so many different forms like stars without makeup, bad bikini photos, cellulite shots, post baby body comaprisans with pre baby bodies, and all the rest of the shit thats supposed to make women feel better because it makes the celebrity more human, but in reality its just perpetuating the beauty myth, that imperfection must be fixed or laughed at.
I like imperfection its what makes people individuals. To mock imperfection is to mock individuality, which may be fine for the trendy clones but it bores me. My middle finger faces you and points to the sky.